There is something that is very important to partners in marriage, which everyone who desires a successful marriage must never overlook. It is the art of being good in bed. In other words, being the best you can in the act of sex. When partners master this, it will help them a great deal in their desire to stay happily together hereafter, enjoying honeymoon forever.

Marriages had been abandoned, and marriage oath broken, by even the most innocent ones on the basis of the bedroom failure of their spouses. I know of a case in which a lady became adulterous because she was not being sexually satisfied by her husband. And this is one lady who never thought that she could ever touch the forbidden fruit of adultery, not to talk of eating it. In yet another case, a man now patronises the ladies of easy virtues because his wife is simply what you will call ‘a disaster in bed.’

Amazingly, many marriages are being kept intact as a result of the fulfilling bedroom experiences of the partners. I bet it with you that what is sustaining some marriages is due to the sexual fulfilment derived by the partners. Some partners will tolerate themselves in other areas, excusing the misbehaviour of each other just because they are sexually fulfilled. I once heard of the case of a lady who is married to a man who yells and kicks her at will. Sympathisers have been counselling her to leave this brute of a husband, yet she has remained adamant. According to a confidant of hers, she confessed that what is keeping her in the marriage despite the sustained beatings is the sexual prowess of her husband. She will not trade that for anything in this world. If you find this strange, it’s because you don’t understand what is called being good in bed, and most probably, you’ve not been there.

To be good in bed means to meet the sexual expectations of one’s spouse. Thus, a person is considered good in bed because he/she is satisfying his/her spouse sexually. That is why the phrase is relative to each marriage, and differs from partner to partner. This is why you cannot judge your being good in bed with that of another person in a marriage other than yours. It is he/she who feels it that knows it, and can talk about it.

The most important thing is that the two people involved are being sexually fulfilled; meeting each other’s expectations in sex.

Good sex is about the connection you have with your partner. It’s about working together instead of being a lone ranger, enjoying yourselves at each other’s expense. It is the team work in bed, just like it’s required in other areas that produces maximum sexual satisfaction for couples in marriage.

Some like trying new styles for varieties and the fun of it, while others may stick to the conservative approach. As long as they are sexually fulfilled and pleased, don’t interrupt their rhythm with yours. Whereas some like rough and crazy sex; others want it gentle and sweet.

Factors that determine bedroom reactions
The styles, methods, and approaches of partners vary and depend on some factors: the time of the month, time of the day, what we eat, whether we are feeling stressed, sad, happy, or in the playful mood.

To be good in bed, you’ve got to be able to figure out what your partner wants in bed/sex every time, and then be ready to give it to him or her big time and real good, both in quality and quantity, taking your health into consideration. It will drive him or her to a crazy end each time, doing crazy things in bed, with you. In doing this, pay attention to the following: His energy, if tired or full of energy; how he/she reacts physically or emotionally to your moves; what words excite him/her; if certain touches or moves make him/her shrink away.

You must know how to physically touch your spouse in and out of bed. It brings great excitement to the act of sex. A lover is one who values sensuality both in and out of bed. So, don’t wait till you get into bed with him or her. Give a touch across the table at dinner; hold your hands as you take a stroll. It will enhance your ability to lovingly touch and connect with each other when in bed. Those who are into sex for the sake of sex alone hardly touch their partners when in bed. To such, the slogan is ‘touch not’, only do that which you do as quickly as possible.

Being good in bed also requires your desire to please your spouse, instead of focusing on pleasing yourself. It must not always be about you – to ensure your own satisfaction. Men are mostly the guilty ones in this category. They taxi easily, so it is easy to fall into the mould. Your spouse’s happiness should always be your priority, in and out of the bedroom. Love focuses not on himself/herself, but on the other. So, never be in a rush to get into the sack at the slightest opportunity. Rather, wait for her signal before you use the door.

Finally, ask Yes or No questions when in doubt of your observation as a feedback on your work rate: Does this feel good; do you like this; do I go harder; can I pull your rod or hair; should I remove it; should I stop the movement etc.

Sex should be for or out of love, and not for or out of obligation. When you do it for love, you will connect, and thus satisfy your spouse in bed.